A switch went off

We basically have two choices, you can either be:

  • Self-depreciating

or

  • Self-appreciating

Example:

  • “I am lazy.”

or

  • “I enjoy lounging around to allow my true nature to come forward in expression of truth about who I really am.”

Which would you choose?  

I choose the later.

Recently, I did something I rarely do… binged watched TV.  During the day I spent hours laughing through 6 or 7 episodes of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

Later, after some family time, I watched hours of romantic Hallmark Channel Christmas family drama – only to be reminded of how raw the loss of a parent can be.

The young boy acting out in anger often, was desperately afraid of forgetting what his parents, who had died 3 years earlier, looked and sounded like.

Then it came to me.

I couldn’t see my mother’s or father’s face anymore. I had done what he feared.

I forgot them.

Not intentionally… but it had happened.

Gone were the images of her beautiful smile across the room sitting on the couch with her heart filled with so much hope, and her body weakened by fear-filled years of self-deprecation.

Gone was the anger I felt toward my father’s overtly demoralizing behaviors.

Gone was the disappointment of why things hadn’t been different before.

And, as the tears streamed through the next frames of the movie…

A switch went off inside me.  

This billowy cloud wisped through the core of my being and I knew exactly who and where she was.

She resides in me everyday, through the essence of who she was in all her glory.

The gifts she bestowed to me that I get to develop, each and every day, are the living testament to who she was.

She lives on through me in the gifts I share.

Had it not been for her years of struggle and her mother’s before her (and girl did they live the full effect of the suffering gene), I probably would not have chosen to be here to learn, discover, live and show there is a different way.

Another lightening happened.

Ah yes… the words my father spoke often come flowing through too – and I understand now what he meant by… “in my next life, I want to come back as a woman.”

He’s smiling down on me now in full appreciation of the breakthroughs women have accomplished in owning their power.

He wants to know what that feels like WITHOUT having to be aggressive, overbearing or inflicting pain on others.

Yes I am so joyful for what I discover in me that reminds YOU of YOU!!

Is it possible for you?

Yes, it is possible and doable to live appreciating all of who you are and be strengthened through your unique journey and evolution.

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